Trying to live love well through the power of the Everlasting.
So for the past few months, I’ve felt something *coming.”
Have you ever felt that? The onset of something that you know will change things? It seems that I’m always finding myself in that situation. I can sense when I’ve lingered too long in a place, and if I do nothing about it, I begin to feel that there’s some sort of on-coming storm. And then, invariably, something happens. My dad, or a pastor, or a friend, or somebody finally calls me on stuff. Or else some sort of situation happens and shifts everything, forcing me into action. Something. Either way, in the past I’ve always been the guy that only moves forward in constructive, healthy ways when I’m being forced to.
But lately I’ve been feeling that it’s probably time to grow up.
So instead of wallowing in my rut, I’ve been getting charged up. I began paying (more) attention to things, searching for something. I began pointedly asking Papa for “it.”
I didn’t know what “it” was, but I knew he’d know. Whatever was needed to jolt me out of the rut and get me going, that’s what I wanted. I was sick of remembering better days, and wanted to move again. Live again. Thrive again.
Then I ran across a sermon series online, and I was pleasantly surprised that one of the pastors behind the series was somebody that I used to know in my old life, a fantastic man named Tim. Watching Tim on the screen, preaching a series entitled “Time to Move” infused my heart with a beautiful combination of nostalgia and ambition, and I decided that I was done with waiting for something to come to me.
I’m taking myself to… well, Papa.
I’m jumping into a season of intentional pursuit – just for a season. I’m not looking for a formula to fix things, but instead I’m looking for a bit of discipline and change to upset the balance and help me move onward. That’s why it’s just for a season. There will come a day, probably a few months from now, when my new routine will no longer be appropriate for where I’ll be. And with the fluidity and communication that comes with a relationship with an involved and Holy God, my interactions and routines will change.
With that in mind, I’m enacting a few new rules for this season. Things like getting to bed earlier and waking up earlier, eating healthier, and getting in more exercise. Things like intentially initiating communication with Papa multiple times throughout the day. Not just quick, whispered prayers when I’m frustrated, but rather intential communication. Updates on how I’m feeling, what’s been going on, and the like. As if Papa were a boy that I’d just met, and we couldn’t help ourselves from getting in touch several times a day just to fill one another in with what’s going on.
Also, I’ve added a few intentional prayers for a morning meditation with Papa, something that I want to do before anything happens when I wake up. I made a rough draft of the list tonight:
1) My Matins prayer: Lord God, Almighty and Everlasting Father, you have brought us in safety to a new day
2) My family. Parents, siblings, in-laws, in-laws-to-be, nieces, nephews, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.
3) My bosses, my co-workers, and my community. Both in general and specifically, as things arise.
4) My loved ones from my past.
5) For love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.
6) For my future. Finances, circumstances, relationships, and the like. Specifically for faith to trust that Papa has got all that, and it’ll be just fine. Also, I’ll be praying for my future husband. I don’t know who he is or when I’ll know him, but I want to invest purposefully into him now. To that end, I’m being intentional about becoming the kind of guy he’s looking for, and about praying for him.
7) For a closer communcation with Papa throughout the day; for a constant connection with the Holy Spirit.
So that’s that. For a season – and possibly exactly that – that’s what I’ll be up to. My goal is to be more like Christ at the end of this thing than I am now. We’ll see!