emarkthomas

Trying to live love well through the power of the Everlasting.

Spiritual Asthma

I have asthma. Had it since I was a kid. Did the whole inhaler-during-gym-class thing. In my early twenties, when I stepped into a life of greater physical activity, it stepped in with me – drawing an ugly barricade between me and some of my dreams. One winter in the Adirondack High Peak region, I found myself sitting in the cabin during a trek up one of those beautiful high peaks.

My asthma kept me from safely reaching the summit.

The good thing about my asthma is that it appears, for me, to be directly related to the environment and weather. My lungs and cold climates? Not good. But my lungs and the Adirondack peaks during the summer months? No problem.

So it’s really only for a season that I’m held back.

I don’t know why, and I can’t even begin to control it. It’s so far beyond my abilities that all I can do is plead with the Physician and alter my plans according to my current reality.

Which, honestly, is a lot like my spiritual walk throughout the years.

I’ve been struggling to breathe lately. My lungs feel constricted. Tight. Spiritually speaking, that is.

Oh, I’ve been here before. All too often. But I’ve also experienced the other seasons; the ones in which I’ve got my arms stretched out on top of a mountain, filling the deepest parts of my lungs with rarified air.

I’m not there today. No, in this season my lungs can only scrape together a small, rattling breathe. I don’t know how it came to be, or why, but I do know that those summer months of spiritual breath will return. Someday.

And that’s a pretty good thing to know. (I didn’t always, you know, so I’m very grateful to have that perspective.)

So I’ll get by on low oxygen, and maybe I’ll have to stay behind in the cabin for a bit.

But I’ll be back up there on those peaks again, I just know it.

See ya there soon, my friends!

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One response to “Spiritual Asthma

  1. Kerry Miller-Whalen February 25, 2012 at 8:55 pm

    Hey, Ethan,

    Hope your time in the cabin doesn’t last too long – but be encouraged…. the sucky times are just as much a part of it all as the mountaintop experiences… just as real, just as important, I suspect. And God is just as much in the middle of them!

    Much love,
    Kerry

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